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Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Sep 13, 2023

What if your past could become your passageway to true connection? This week, we welcome the author of Get Past Your Past, Jason VanRuler. Jason opens up about his journey from a broken home and the struggle trying to avoid repeating those same patterns. He brings insights on healing, the power of vulnerability, and the role of psychological care, self-help, and healthy relationships in our lives.

I love this conversation with Jason because we really dive deep into the journey of healing from our past and how challenging that can be. We talk about how we find the courage to be vulnerable with people around us and how it is really important to feel it to heal it. We get deep in this episode and I know you’re going to love it as well.

3:10 – Jason 101

  • Coming from a broken home with trauma and chaos and abuse
  • When did things begin to change for him?
  • The things he wanted to do differently when he reached adulthood

12:09 – Feel It to Heal It

  • Why is it so difficult for people to deal with grief?
  • Bringing other people into the equation to help you heal
  • Opening up and building trust incrementally

20:03 – Steps to find someone to be vulnerable with

  • Taking it step-by-step, there is not shortcut
  • Don’t try to make someone your person
  • How we think about it and talk about it changes over time

29:41 – The struggle to forgive ourselves

  • When did you stop deserving forgiveness?
  • Common thread for people that struggle with forgiveness
  • Honoring people we hurt by being better

41:46 – Action steps you can take

  • Be honest with yourself about what’s going on
  • Recognizing the cost
  • Hope is always there even if you can’t see it


"If you don't know how to do it differently, you return to what you know. And within a couple of years, I just sort of built the life I was running from."

“I think the best way we can honor the people we hurt is by being better. And we can't be better if we if we don't forgive ourselves because people don't improve what they don't value.”

“If you're in this season and this space, use that growth. And remember that when you feel those times of regret in those moments, that's actually a sign you changed for the better. Because you never would have noticed it otherwise.”


Connect with Jason:

Get Jason’s book ‘Get Past Your Past’: